How people see each other differently
In meetings, some people tend to ‘wing it’, where others diligently prepare in advance. Some like it short, others see meetings as an opportunity to discuss at length. You already know this is where the difficulty begins.
Meetings RARELY cater for (or even consider) differences in the way we like to behave and communicate.
The video below shows you how different people view priorities differently. Within a short timeframe tension arises. When we learn to value our differences and respond rather than react, things change.
Consider this typical scenario:
It’s Tuesday afternoon, and the team have come together for 40 minutes to discuss a new customer service project. An agenda was prepared and sent out a week in advance, yet some people seem to have missed it. As time ticks by and watches are checked, the table gets tapped in irritation. The tension in the room is heightened, and the Team Leader (Emma) states her desire to ‘get on with it.’
Emma is thinking (but not saying) my team don’t understand the pressure I’m under here.
Mae Ling is frustrated. She has been to many of these ‘off the cuff meetings’ before and despite sending an agenda in advance no one appears to have prepared. She sighs but says nothing. Ravi arrives a late – as always. Mark feels the tension around the table and tries to bring everyone into harmony. The result?
The video above shows just how we all experience meetings on a day to day basis. By observing different behaviours, and by understanding how we are different – we can run better meeting more engaging meetings – and in turn, gain better outcomes for everyone. The next lesson will help you to be able to recognise four different preferences to help understand yourself and others better.
What did you notice about how we experience the difference?
- Emma is single-minded on the task and focused on outputs. She wants to get it done in the shortest possible time.
- Mae Ling prefers to stick to the agenda, analyse the data and present her evidence. She is well prepared.
- Mark immediately tunes in to the tension in the room. He senses conflict arising and wants to keep on any potential conflict.
- Ravi is upbeat as always. New ideas come quickly and easily to him, and he loves to share them with enthusiasm. Meetings and people fuel his desire for fun and energy.
Without an understanding of each other, these natural preferences can easily be seen as irritations. Meetings are labelled as a waste of time or worse. Blame is common. In team meetings these differences are ignored at your peril.
Communication is often known as a soft skill. For many of us it is one that is hard to master.
Ideas get missed, people feel unappreciated, team culture suffers, and business results stagnate. Conflict is something many of us prefer to avoid, and in doing so we miss opportunities to deepen our understanding of the different elements we bring to a team.
