How people see each other differently
The video below shows you how different people may view things in a different way. This highlights how differences can impact our behaviour.
When we learn to value our differences and respond rather than react, things change.
Consider this typical scenario:
It’s Wednesday evening. Chris is on his computer searching for new product innovations. Jana is on the phone to her mother as she is unwell. Chris is getting irritated because he knows they need to leave home in 30 minutes, and as yet, dinner seems a long way away. Jana is thinking ( but not saying) get off that computer and help the kids get ready. Chris is thinking (but not saying) “why can’t you speak to your mother later, the priority at the moment it to eat and leave.” Jana’s priority is her mother, who’s not been well lately and lives by herself.
Their differences are likely to cause friction – and they have never really thought about why.
The video above shows how we all experience the difference on a day to day basis. How we see and accept these, changes our responses. We can learn to appreciate and value these difference OR we can stay in our own way of thinking and behaving. The choice you make will determine the outcome: communication or conflict. The next lesson will help you to be able to recognise four behavioural preferences in people. This will make it easier for you to understand yourself and others better.
What did you notice about how we experience the difference?
- Chris is single-minded on the task and focused on time and efficiency.
- Jana is happily multitasking and is focused on her concern for others. Time is not so important.
Without an understanding of each other, this irritation could easily escalate into a potential conflict. It is natural to push for your own needs to be met – however, this easily creates inflammatory language and some negative reactions.
- He says “Can you get off that phone because we will be late for the game”
- She reacts and says ” Go without me, this is more important right now”
How could he have reworded his question and how could she have responded (not reacted) to reduce conflict?
The foundation of strong relationships is great communication.
